I'm setting you free {open}

[Antigone Crow]

"Possibly. But, I'll think I'll try it on my own." Annie shrugged a little, sighing. "She isn't exactly..y'know, comfortable with anyone but you yet. She doesn't exactly know anyone else, so I should probably just do it myself. Besides, I know her the best, and I know how to approach it." She had to be very careful with this. She didn't want Kate to check her into an insane asylum, and she didn't want her sister to check herself into one.

And suddenly, her good mood was gone. She felt so stupid--so fucking stupid, and Spanish insults were flying through her mind at herself. Why had she said that when she knew he still loved someone else? That alone had hurt enough, and now she'd just managed to hurt herself even more.
It was one of the rare moments when she hated herself.

Suddenly, she just wanted to give up. She wanted her drugs back, and she wanted to curl up into a ball and die. She had never cared for someone like this before, so why did this have to happen? It didn't seem fair, but then again, when was life fair?

Stupid, stupid girl! Why should he love you? You're useless, you're worthless. All you do is break hearts. And now, you're getting what's been coming for years. You deserve it. Once a whore, you're nothing more.

She finally realized that this was the sting of rejection. Never before had she been rejected, and she didn't like it one bit.

She almost flinched when he put his hand on her face, and wanted to pull away. She wanted to run, she wanted to cry. Christ, was this what it felt like to be dying on the inside? She didn't even know.

She pulled on a smile, so incredibly fake and so incredibly painful, and took a step back. "I-I better go, actually," she said, feeling the tears well up as she spoke. She didn't need to go, not at all. She just couldn't stay there. "See you later, Jake." She turned to leave, feeling the sobs want to break loose and the tears finally breaking free.
God fucking damnit, she was an idiot.

[Jacob Black]

Jacob flinched when she pulled away from his touch, all he wanted to do at that moment was to hold her, to kiss her and comfort her and tell her that everything was going to work out and be okay. He could feel his hands shake at his sides when she turned and walked away, and his feet felt so heavy and he suddenly couldn't even take one single, little step. He thought quickly about what he should do, what he should have done, and what he didn't do. He was breathing fast and hard, and he watched in agony as Annie walked away.

Jake suddenly was able to rip his foot up off the ground, and soon he was able to run after her. He jogged up beside her, and then took a step to the side so that he was standing in front of her. He rested his hands firmly but gently on her shoulders so that she couldn't run away again. He took one deep breath, and then attempted to try and explain everything that was going on inside his head and his heart.

"Annie...Annie....Annie." he whispered, using the tips of his thumbs to wipe away the tears on her cheeks. "I really care about you, and I feel myself falling for you. But I'm scared, I'm scared to fall too hard and then just end up getting hurt, because I've done that before and I don't ever want to go through anything like that again." he said quietly, speaking quickly. "As you know, I use to be in love with...Bella." he mention of her name made him flinch. "And in a lot of ways I still am, but I think I'm on the road to falling in love with you, but it's taking me longer to get to the end because not only am I falling in love with you, but I'm trying to forget Bella and move on."

Jake had to stop for a few moments to catch his breath. All the fast talking and explaining was getting him a little tired out, and he was a little breathless. "I just need more time, Annie. But I'm getting there, it's just taking me a while because I'm so fucking broken. I'm still trying to heal from all the heartache that Bella caused for me."

[Antigone Crow]

Annie had heard him behind her before he'd even touched her, though she didn't want to risk running. With her luck, she'd fall. And she really didn't need that at this point. She just wanted to leave with the small amount of dignity she had left, and as he had apparently seen her crying, that wasn't going to work very well. She hated feeling weak, and in her mind, crying made her weak. Who still cried at seventeen? Her, apparently. God, she'd already cried too much this week, and she was hating herself for it.

Annie tried to pull away half-heartedly, her feelings conflicted. She wanted to run away from him, though she also just wanted to hug him and kiss him and--no! She couldn't do that. She'd only get more attached. "Jake, por favor, just let me go." She practically choked on her words and her tears, trying to force them back, though the dam had broken and everything was just letting loose.

"I won't hurt you," she whispered, more to herself than him. "Damnit, I've already told you that! I'd rather hurt myself a million times than hurt you." And that was something for a girl that used to love herself more than anything or anyone else. She almost flinched when he wiped away the tears, though that was going to prove to be useless. They just kept falling, and there was no way he'd be able to stop them all.

He still loved her. She wanted to tell him to go after her, because he shouldn't let the girl he loved get away from him. He deserved to be in love and be loved, and shit, it hurt to admit that she might not be his girl. "If you love her, why are you with me?" She was crying now; not just tears, but full-on crying, sobs and all. "Shouldn't you be chasing her?" And just from listening to her and looking at her, you should be able to tell it was killing her to talk about that.

"I'm not trying to make you love me," she said, voice quiet and breaking twice. "Don't force yourself." God, she wanted it so fucking badly, but if he didn't, what was the point? Forcing himself to love her would get him no where. "I can love you all I want, but you don't have to feel the same." She could barely get that one, simple sentence out.

She felt herself shaking, and knew that phasing was possible at this point. She was so upset, so emotional, that she felt like she was coming undone. And if this continued, she literally would.

[Jacob Black]

Jacob dropped his hands from her face and let them fall down at his side. It seemed like she didn't want to be touched, and if she didn't want him to then he wouldn't. He didn't blame her for it, he had been an ass to her earlier, and he probably deserved the treatment that she was giving him.

"I know you would never hurt me on purpose, and I know you have no intention of causing me pain, but just the thought of it all scares the shit out of me." he admitted, glancing down at the ground. Bella had had no intention of hurting him, but look what she had done to him. He had good reason for being afraid.

"I'm not with her because she doesn't want me. She chose a fucking blood sucker over me and pretty much tossed me off to the side." he said, his voice shaking with anger and sorrow. Thinking about all this always upset him, and he found himself wanting to hit something. The tree next to him looked like a pretty good victim, but he didn't want to scare Annie, so he controlled himself. "I've tried chasing her, and I just ended up running in circles, getting no where with all of it."

He ran a few fingers through his hair, trying to calm himself down a little bit. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a few moments, trying to regain control. "It's not like that. It's not like I'm forcing myself to fall in love with you because you love me and because it's convenient. What I'm saying is that I'm finding myself falling in love with you, I'm just not completely there yet. Every single day I find myself caring about you even more." he let out a soft groan. "I'm sorry, I know that I'm not making sense, I just don't know how exactly to say all of this so that it makes sense to you."

Jake wanted to kiss her, oh God did he want to kiss her. He would have, but he would probably just end up getting punched in the face. And unlike Bella, it would most likely actually hurt.

[Antigone Crow]

Annie took a few deep breaths, closing her eyes tight and trying to regain her composure. She hated crying, and forcing the tears back was her only option at this point. She didn't want to upset him more, and she didn't want to look weak to him. God, she'd caused so much damn drama just because she couldn't keep her fucking mouth shut.
She was in severe need of duct tape. Or super glue.

"Don't be scared," she said, shaking her head. "What's life without taking risks? You can't live your life dwelling in the past, Jake. I know you were hurt in the past, and I know it's hard to move on, but you can't be scared of every girl you meet now because of it." She'd broken a lot of hearts, and she knew it was hard for the guy to move on. But they just had to do it.

"She's stupid, then," Annie said bluntly, nodding her head. "If she wanted to by-pass someone like you for a soulless leech, then that's her problem. You didn't do anything wrong--she did." Being honest was the best thing right now. She'd already spilled her soul's secret to him, what else was there to hide? "If she can't see you for the amazing guy you are, then there's something seriously wrong with her. Trust me." She tried to fake a smile, but it just wasn't working. "I've been around the block so many times, and trust me, you're a catch, mi amor."

She found his words calming and almost soothing. She nodded, calming down a bit. At least she'd stopped crying at this point; that was a big bonus. Crying girls usually never helped any situation, and generally made guys anxious and jumpy. She wanted to calm down and she wanted him to calm down, so the tears coming to an end would only aid her in both situations.

"Then that's definitely enough," she whispered, managing a tiny smile. It still hurt to pull on, though it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been before. That was all she had been asking for; for him to love her. Not now, just eventually. "You're making sense, don't worry."

She hesitated half a moment before she spoke again. "Lo sient--I'm sorry for bringing it up. I didn't mean to, it just kind of..slipped out."

[Jacob Black]

Jacob glanced off to the side and bit the corner of his lip, only showing even more how anxious and nervous he currently was. Yes, her words were soothing but he had heard them from pretty much everyone in The Pack. "I know, I know I shouldn't be scared and that I shouldn't dwell on my past, but it's easier said then done. I really do want to move on and forget about my past, but it's so hard, Annie. It's so god damn hard." he whispered, his voice just barely above a whisper. He hated sounding and feeling so week.

He nodded slowly, and finally was able to pull his gaze off the ground and back into her eyes. "It's just been difficult because she hadn't exactly been able to decide on who she wanted. She was kind of holding both of us in her hands, trying to decide on who to keep and who to throw away. And about a month ago she finally decided." he sighed, unable to look at her again. He knew that Embry had probably explained everything to her, but it would probably make more sense if he tried to tell her a little bit too. After all, he was the one who was involved in all of this. He knew the story better then anyone. He took another deep breath, how was it that Annie could see the good side of him, but Bella couldn't? It just didn't make any sense to him. His love obviously just wasn't enough for her.

Jacob shook his head, and closed his eyes again for a few moments as he tried to regain composure again. "Is it? Is it really enough?" he asked, tilting his head a little to the right. He sighed again, only this time it was a lot softer. Was it really enough? Sometimes when a person in a relationship dropped the 'L' bomb and the other person couldn't say it back, then their relationship could just never be the same. Was that how it was going to be now? Was their relationship going to be weird and awkward now? He hoped not, Jake really hoped it wouldn't be.

"You don't need to apologize. It was brave of you to tell me how you feel, and I respect you for it." he whispered in retort, glancing down at her again. He wanted to offer her a smile or a small grin, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was still so scared and so very afraid, and nothing was making sense anymore.

[Antigone Crow]

"I know it is," Annie said, nodding a little. "I know it's hard not to dwell on your past, and I know it seems like it's scary to just let go and move on." She of all people should know that. Their situations were entirely different, and they both has required that the person let go and move on. And she knew that just doing that was scary as hell. "But lingering on it makes it all the harder to let go." She'd learned that from personal experience and just wanted this to be as easy as possible for him.

Annie felt her eyes narrow and she growled a little under her breath, cursing in Spanish. She didn't like this Bella girl. She seemed to have destroyed Jacob a million times over, and God, she hated seeing him in pain. "As much as I'd like to say something on this, I can't," Annie said, sighing a little. "I'd be a hypocrite. What I used to do wasn't much better." She teased boys like dangling a string in front of a cat, only to yank it away before they could catch it. She teased and screwed and left hearts in pieces, and hadn't thought twice about it. "..What I did is a lot worse, actually.."

Was it enough, or had she just said that? She wasn't sure. So, Annie merely shrugged at that question, hoping he wouldn't push it. She'd end up crying again, definitely. She hoped he was being truthful, that he would love her eventually. Because, really, how much longer could a relationship last when he loved someone else? she would stay with him, of course, but it would just hurt more and more each day..

"It really wasn't brave, it was stupid," Annie mumbled to herself. "I really should've waited. I knew about the whole Bella problem and I shouldn't have said it so soon. I'm really sorry."

She just wanted to hug him and kiss him and think that everything was all better, but she had a scary feeling that things would be kind of awkward. She didn't want things to be awkward.

[Jacob Black]

Jacob's face was blank, and his stare was confused and scared. He had heard these words a thousand times over, but it was still comforting to hear Annie say them. Jake believed everything she said, and knew that she was right and that he had to just stop being all depressed about everything that had happened with him and Bella and at least try to move on, but Jacob just felt like he couldn't. In a way, he didn't want to just forget everything, but in a lot of ways, he did. There were just so many memories, and it was difficult to just...forget. "I've been trying, Annie. And I'm going to keep lingering on what happened. It's just screwed up a lot of things for me."

He sighed deeply when he heard her growl and curse under her breath. He knew that bringing up the whole Bella situation was not a good idea. Jake was actually a little surprised, telling your girlfriend that you were still in love with another girl could not end well, and he was shocked to see that she wasn't exploding in his face. Annie had been the one in Bella's situation, and so he didn't really expect her to understand what he was going through. "Did the guys you teased ever loved you?" he asked, cocking his head to the side with curiosity.

Jacob could see her trying hard not to cry, and he leaned back against the tree behind him. He hated being such a jerk, any guy who made a girl cry should have been slapped in the face multiple times. He took another deep breath and then stood off the tree, "You shouldn't be the one who's sorry. I should be. I finally have someone really great in my life, and I'm too weak to say three small little words to them." he whispered, shaking his head.

With one last deep breath, Jake just wrapped his arms around her pulled her close to him. He hugged her tightly, but was still gentle so that he wouldn't hurt her. He was used to being soft and careful because that was how he had had to be with Bella. It was second nature to him. He mumbled an apology before slowly pressing a small kiss to her cheek, hoping that she would be able to forgive him.

[Antigone Crow]

"The trick is to move on, not to forget," Annie offeres, shrugging a little. "It's what I had to do with my mom. Lingering on her death just made it worse, so I kept the memories and moved on. Granted, the memories are slipping now (it's been about seven years, in my defense), but some are still there." She wanted to say 'It wouldn't screw things up if you didn't let it,' though didn't want to upset him more or piss him off. That comment could be taken many ways, so she refrained from saying it for the moment.

"Possibly," Annie said, with a passive shrug. "I never asked or tried to find out. I'm scared to get attached to people." She hesitated. "So, I used them. When I was done I'd leave, before I could fall for them. Clearly, not the case in our situation, but.." She sighed, shrugging a little. "It's why caring about you made me freak out so much in the beginning." It still scared her, to be honest, though she didn't need to tell him that much.

"They may be small words, but they have a lot of meaning." The burning behind her eyes returned, and she cursed under her breath. Well, just tearing up was better than crying. She could fight the tears at least for a little while. She'd let them loose after he was gone or after she had left. "I'd rather you not say it back rather than you saying it and not meaning it." That would've just killed, and she would've found out eventually--they were werewolves, after all.

Annie allowed him to pull her close and hid her face against his shoulder for a moment or two, just to be sure that no more tears would fall for the time being. She glanced back up at him after a moment and managed a smile, going up on tip-toe to give him a soft kiss. She was almost scared to kiss him after what had happened, but shit, she couldn't help herself.

[Jacob Black]

Jacob nodded in agreement. He understood what the trick was, but like mentioned earlier it was a lot easier said then done. He felt like in order to move on, he would have to forget, and if he didn't forget then it wouldn't really seem like her ever moved on. He took a deep breath, frustrated by the complexity of the whole situation. Jake just nodded again, letting her know that he understood what she was saying and that he would try really hard to move on. He couldn't promise out loud though, he didn't want to be one to break a promise.

"Well, it really sucks to just get dropped. Especially when you love someone and they love you back. It just makes it a hundred times harder." he whispered, shaking his head as he glanced down again. Bella had played and teased with his emotions and feelings, and when he thought that she actually cared about him and then got tossed away, it made the heartache much more intense.

"Yeah, that's definitely true." he responded as he rested his chin down on top of her head. "The last thing I would ever want to do is lie to you, and when I say it I want to really, really mean it." he ran his hands up and down her back, attempting to comfort her. In only the last hour they had both been through a lot, especially Annie.

Jacob could only hope that things wouldn't be weird between them now. Hopefully she wouldn't hold any grudges against him for not being able to say 'I love you' back to her. He prayed that things could just go back to how they were before any of this had happened, but he knew that could never happen. He was hoping for something that couldn't be given, and it scared him to acknowledge this. What would things be like between them now?

[Antigone Crow]

Annie decided not to comment more on the 'moving on' thing. She'd said her opinion on the matter and told him everything she could to help. Now, it was up to him to move on. She knew it wouldn't happen instantly, though she hoped he would eventually. Him not moving on was probably not good for them, though she decided not to say that either. It would just make the situation all the more awkward, and that was certainly the last thing she wanted at this point.

"I can only imagine," Annie murmured, closing her eyes and absently wrapping her arms around his middle. She was tired (crying and getting upset always exhausted her), and she was still trying to ignore the burning behind her eyes. Keeping them closed helped this a little, at least. "I'm so sorry she put you through all of that, amor. You certainly don't deserve it." He deserved to love and be loved, as said.

When. Not if. She just had to remember that if she ever got upset over this again. She just wished that she could have waited; waited until he could freaking say it back. "Take all the time you need," she murmured. She felt an absent shiver run down her spine, though it was definitely a good shiver.

She just had to remember to hold back on saying those three words (well, two in Spanish) for a while. She didn't want to freak him out, rush him, or upset him, so she would hold back. She absently slipped her hand beneath his shirt to trace absent designs on his skin, just like she had done the one time when they were lying in her bed.

[Jacob Black]

Jacob not moving on was definitely not good for them, and he knew that everyday he waited to tell her that he loved her, there would be part of her that would go away and part of her that he would lose. He couldn't wait forever, and he knew if he waited too much longer he would lose her all together, which he really didn't want. If Annie left from his life then he would go back to being the depressed, moody young man he was only a few months ago; he didn't want to be that Jacob.

"Again, there's no need to apologize. It's not like it's your fault." he responded quietly, his voice just barely audible. He pulled her closer, (if that was even possible) and began twirling a few strands of her hair around his fingertips. Playing with her hair was one of his favorite things to do, and he never got bored of it. Hopefully she didn't mind, because he wouldn't suddenly stop enjoying it anytime soon.

Jake knew that when she said to take all the time he needed, that it was probably hard for her to say. No, he didn't have all the time in the world. Like mentioned before, if he waited too long then Annie would fall out of love with him or something even worse then that. He couldn't wait forever, and the clock was ticking.

His eyes immediately closed when she traced the tips of her fingers along his back. It was comforting, and it reminded him of when they had hung out for a few hours in her bed. A small smile was brought to his lips when he remembered it. The smile was small, but it was still a smile; the first one in the last half an hour.

[Antigone Crow]

"It's automatic to say you're sorry when you hear about something like that," she said, shrugging a little. "Kind of like how you say it when someone dies, y'know? Bad analogy, I know, but you get the point." Or at least he should.

Annie closed her eyes once again and allowed him to play with her hair, a soft, content sigh leaving her. His playing with her hair didn't bother her at all--it was a comfort to her, actually. He could do it all she wanted, and she certainly wouldn't complain. Most of the guys she'd been with prior to Jake had been all about the heavy physical stuff, not about the innocent touches and gestures. Needless to say, she liked what she was in right now compared to the prior 'relationships', if could even call them that, that she'd been with before.

Annie knew that waiting would hurt, but she knew she had to do it. She also knew that she couldn't wait forever. She would be as patient as possible, for as long as possible, but forever was far too long. Eventually, she knew that the feelings would fade if he didn't return them. She could only hope that he didn't take that long.

"There's a smile," she murmured after glancing up at him, tilting her head a little to the side. "I missed it, even if it wasn't gone for long." And yet despite this, her smiles that she offered would be faked for a while. True smiles were only brought forth by those she was truly close to, but now smiling for him may be harder than it had been.

"I'm off the drugs again," she said, deciding to change the subject. "Going clean. I have to." For her cousin, and for herself. "I got too out of control again with them," she admitted, "so I'm trying to go clean..again. Hopefully it blows over better than last time."

[Jacob Black]

Jacob slowly nodded, understanding her analogy. It made perfect sense, and he probably would have said the same thing if he was her. It was natural to say you were sorry to someone when they were going through something difficult, even if you had nothing to do with the matter. It was kind of a weird thing, but second nature for most people.

He pulled away a little so that he could see her face a little. He slowly put his hand underneath her chin and gently pulled it up so that he could see her face completely, he bent down a bit and kissed her for a few moments on her lips, and then pulled away as a smile managed to slip across his features.

To be honest, Jacob wished that she would smile. He wished he could say something funny and charming just so that he could hear her laugh or giggle. It was one of the best sounds in the world for him, and he had a feeling he wouldn't be hearing it for a while. Jake wanted to slap himself. She put herself out there and he just....he just totally rejected her. In a way, he was kinda in Bella's situation; holding two amazing people in his hands, two people that he truly cared about. Well, technically he only had one person in his hand. The whole situation was slightly ironic.

"I'm really glad to hear that." he responded, glad for the change of subject. "I know you can do it." he said as he pulled her close to him again. He continued to play with her hair, randomly picking up strands and turning it over between his fingers. "If you ever need any help with it, you know you can always give me a call."

[Antigone Crow]

Annie allowed him to lift her chin, managing a tiny smile for him when he did. She felt her eyes fall closed for the few moments that he kissed her, and she resisted the urge to pout when he pulled away. So, she simply offered him a playful little smile (probably faked, but a smile all the same), and went up on tip-toe to kiss him again.
Yep, she'd missed him too much.

Annie related very well to how he was feeling, to be honest. She just wanted to slap herself and call herself every bad name she knew. She seriously needed some connection between her brain and her tongue. Or, once again, super glue. She'd known that saying it might result in not-so-desirable reactions, though she had said it anyway. She just..couldn't hold it back. Kissing him had definitely distracted her, which was a bad, bad thing in that situation (normally it was good, though).

"Mh, it's a lot harder than it sounds," Annie said, with a grimace. "Withdrawals are not fun. Especially not heroin withdrawals. They can get pretty bad." She bit her lip, sighing. "I told Colton about last time, and he said they probably weren't even really bad ones. I just need to get used to it." She managed another tiny smile, and nodded. "Will do. Gotta say, I'd much rather have you there than my grumpy cousin."